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It all started with a stray cat, a beautiful black and gold tortoiseshell. I began feeding her back in April, just leaving some food out for her. By mid-May, she was a regular visitor, and I noticed she was pregnant. My heart just went out to this expectant mother. I made it my mission to keep her well-fed, which, let me tell you, was a task. Her appetite was huge, and she was eating three to four times a day. She practically lived in our yard, a silent agreement that this was her safe space. She'd be there to greet me in the morning and would come and go throughout the day. My indoor cat, Adah, eventually got used to her presence, a big step considering her initial reaction was to lunge at the window. The stray, whom I affectionately started thinking of as “Mama Cat” (I even called her “mama”), seemed to settle in, making our yard her home. As June progressed, she started staying even after sunset, a sign of her growing trust. The dynamic was peaceful, and I was happy to provide ...

20 Things You Need to Stop to Move Forward

Life throws curveballs, and sometimes, the best way to dodge them is to drop what’s weighing you down. I've found that it's not always about adding new things; it’s often about subtracting the old, unhelpful habits. We’re going to look at some behaviors that, honestly, just need to go.

An African American woman sitting on a bench writing in a journal.

Breaking Down Those Behaviors to Avoid

It can be tough to admit, but some of our habits just don’t serve us. Let's look at a few common culprits.

Stop Dwelling on Past Mistakes

We all mess up. But replaying those moments over and over? That’s just draining. Instead, try this:

  • Acknowledge the mistake.
  • Learn from it.
  • Move on.

It’s easier said than done, I know, but it’s crucial.

Ditching Negative Thinking Patterns

Our inner critic can be brutal. But we don’t have to listen. Here's how to change the channel:

It takes practice, but it's worth it.

Cut Out Toxic Relationships

Sometimes, the people around us bring us down. It's tough, but sometimes, you have to let go.

  • Identify toxic relationships.
  • Set boundaries.
  • Focus on positive connections.

Your peace of mind is non-negotiable.

Seeking External Validation

Constantly needing others to validate your worth is exhausting.

  • Focus on internal validation.
  • Recognize your own achievements.
  • Build self-confidence.

Your opinion of yourself matters most.

Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Putting off tough talks only makes them harder.

  • Address issues directly.
  • Communicate clearly and respectfully.
  • Resolve conflicts constructively.

Clear communication leads to healthier relationships.

Overthinking Situations

Analyzing every detail can lead to mental fatigue.

  • Set time limits for decision-making.
  • Trust your gut.
  • Let go of what you can’t control.

Sometimes, you just have to act.

Emotional Avoidance

Suppressing your feelings doesn’t make them disappear.

Your feelings are valid.

People-Pleasing Behaviors

Constantly prioritizing others’ needs over your own leads to burnout.

  • Learn to say no.
  • Set boundaries.
  • Prioritize your well-being.

You can’t please everyone.

Habits to Break for a Better You

Beyond just stopping negative behaviors, we also need to actively break some bad habits.

Conquering Procrastination Habits

Putting things off? We’ve all been there. Here’s how to tackle it:

Getting started is the hardest part.

Reducing Social Media Comparison

Scrolling through perfect feeds can make us feel inadequate. Here’s how to combat that:

  • Limit social media time.
  • Focus on your own journey.
  • Remember, it’s just a highlight reel.

Your worth isn’t based on likes and followers. Repeat this as much as you need to!

Neglecting Self-Care Routines

We often put ourselves last. But self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

You can't pour from an empty cup.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Turning to unhealthy habits like overeating or substance use isn't sustainable.

  • Find healthy coping strategies.
  • Exercise, meditate, or engage in hobbies.
  • Seek professional help if needed.

Your health is paramount.

Resisting Change

Sticking to what’s familiar can hold us back. Here’s how to embrace the new:

  • Be open to new experiences.
  • See change as an opportunity.
  • Take small steps.

You might be surprised at what you discover.

Overcoming Perfectionist Tendencies

Aiming for perfection can lead to stress and burnout. Here’s how to loosen the grip:

  • Accept that good enough is okay.
  • Celebrate progress, not perfection.
  • Learn from mistakes.

Nobody’s perfect, and that’s okay.

Ignoring Personal Needs

It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget about our own needs.

  • Listen to your body and mind.
  • Take breaks when needed.
  • Prioritize rest and relaxation.

Taking care of yourself isn't a luxury, it's a necessity.

Self-Criticism Habits

Constantly putting yourself down erodes self-esteem.

  • Practice self-compassion.
  • Speak to yourself kindly.
  • Focus on your strengths.

You are your own best advocate.

Neglecting Physical Health

Ignoring your body’s needs leads to long term issues.

Your body is your vehicle, keep it running smoothly.

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Turning to bad habits for comfort is damaging.

Your well-being matters.

Emotional Avoidance

Suppressing feelings leads to bigger problems.

  • Acknowledge your emotions.
  • Find healthy ways to express them.
  • Seek support when needed.

Your feelings are valid.

Moving Forward With Intention

Letting go of these behaviors and habits isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary to move forward and be a better version of yourself. By focusing on what truly matters, you create space for positive change.

Key Takeaways to a Better You

✅ Stop dwelling on past mistakes. Learn and move on.

✅ Break negative thinking patterns. Challenge and replace them.

✅ Cut out toxic relationships. Prioritize positive connections.

✅ Conquer procrastination. Break tasks into smaller steps.

✅ Limit social media comparison. Focus on your own journey.

✅ Prioritize self-care. Schedule time for yourself.

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